E258: When Not Drinking Feels Louder Than Drinking

Have you ever been at a party, wedding, or holiday gathering holding a soda and felt like everyone noticed you weren’t drinking?

In this episode of Sober Friends, Matt and Steve talk honestly about what it’s like to be the only sober person in the room—especially early on. They dig into why sobriety can feel uncomfortable in social settings, why it’s not really about the alcohol, and how losing that “social lubricant” can make everything feel louder and more exposed.

They explore the spotlight effect, identity shifts, guilt and shame from past behavior, and why being around heavy or sloppy drinking can still feel unsettling—even with time sober. Most importantly, they share practical tools that actually help: making phone calls, having an exit plan, taking action when your mind starts spiraling, and learning skills that make social situations manageable instead of overwhelming.

If you’re navigating parties, holidays, weddings, or work events without alcohol—and wondering if you’re doing sobriety “wrong”—this episode is for you. You’re not weak. You’re not broken. And it does get easier.