Sober Friends
The Sober Friends Podcast: Two Guys Talking Recovery
Matt and Steve have been sober for over a decade each. They still don't have it all figured out.
This is a podcast about recovery - AA recovery specifically - but it's not your sponsor's recovery podcast. It's two friends talking through the stuff that actually matters:
What do you DO when you're not drinking? How do you handle control issues 15 years in? Why does calling someone in recovery feel so goddamn hard? What happens when you remove alcohol but don't replace it with anything? And seriously, do you miss drinking or do you just miss the relief?
Every week Matt and Steve work through these questions together - sometimes they have answers, sometimes they're figuring it out in real time, and sometimes they just need to talk it out like you do with a friend who gets it.
If you're in recovery, thinking about recovery, or just trying to figure out how to live without alcohol as your coping mechanism - welcome. Grab some coffee. Let's talk.
Topics: Alcoholics Anonymous, 12-step recovery, sobriety, addiction, relapse, service work, early recovery, staying sober, and everything in between.
Matt and Steve work AA programs but speak only for themselves. This show isn't affiliated with Alcoholics Anonymous.
New episodes weekly at soberfriendspod.com
Episodes
287 episodes
E267: It Fixed What Was Wrong With Me
That's the part nobody wants to say out loud. Alcohol wasn't just a bad habit — for a lot of us, it was a solution. It fixed the social anxiety. It fixed the noise. It fixed the feeling of not fitting in. The problem wasn't that it didn't work....
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Episode 237
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34:00
E266: Doorway or Loophole?
You've heard it a thousand times in the rooms — take what you like and leave the rest. But what does that actually mean? Matt and Steve dig into one of recovery's most repeated phrases and ask the question nobody wants to answer: are y...
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Episode 266
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32:30
E265: Carrying the Message (Without Being Preachy)
"Carrying the message" doesn't mean becoming Mr. AA or giving speeches at speaker meetings. It's not about recruiting, arguing on Facebook, or diagnosing strangers.In this episode, Matt and Steve talk honestly about what carrying the mes...
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Episode 265
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32:08
E264: It's Not Your Fault (But It Is Your Responsibility)
Matt and Steve dive deep into Dr. Silkworth's groundbreaking work on alcoholism and why understanding the medical nature of addiction changes everything. They explore a fascinating discovery: Silkworth published his "allergy theory" in a 1937 m...
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32:14
E263: Service Work in Recovery: You Haven't Been Nominated to Drink Coffee
Service work in AA recovery isn't about giving back - it's about belonging, commitment, and staying sober. "I don't even drink coffee.""That's fine. You haven't been nominated to drink coffee. You've been nominated to make co...
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Episode 263
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30:05
E262: Do You Miss Drinking or Do You Miss the Relief?
"I love to do things that will give me temporary comfort, that will make me very uncomfortable somewhere down the road."A woman with 30+ years of sobriety shared this in Steve's Wednesday meeting, and it hit hard. Because that's exactly ...
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Episode 262
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31:02
E261: Outcome vs. Journey- The Control Freak's Guide to Sobriety
Ever feel like you're doing everything "right" in recovery but still find yourself pissed off when things don't go your way? Steve opens up about his biggest struggle even after 15+ years sober: the control freak mindset that gets shit done but...
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Episode 261
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33:24
E260: Lowering the Bar - Why 'Just Staying Sober' is a Championship Win
It’s mid-January, the "Pink Cloud" of New Year’s resolutions has evaporated, and for many in the Northeast, we are staring down a "marathon of dark, cold, and gloomy days". In this episode, Matt and Steve get honest about the "January Gloom" an...
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Episode 260
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32:08
E259: You Can Still Be Sober and Have Bad Days
You can be sober and still have bad days — and that doesn’t mean you’re doing recovery wrong.In this episode, Matt and Steve talk honestly about what it looks like to stay sober through anxiety, physical pain, holidays, and emotional dis...
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Episode 259
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31:17
E258: When Not Drinking Feels Louder Than Drinking
Have you ever been at a party, wedding, or holiday gathering holding a soda and felt like everyone noticed you weren’t drinking?In this episode of Sober Friends, Matt and Steve talk honestly about what it’s like to be the only sober pers...
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Episode 258
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34:17
E257: I Tried for Three Days and I Couldn’t Cope
Pete Axthelm once said he tried to quit drinking for three days — and couldn’t cope. He died at 47, convinced that life without alcohol wasn’t survivable. That sentence stopped me cold, because for many of us, it’s painfully familiar.In ...
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Episode 257
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34:45
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E256: Progress, Not Perfect Sobriety
There’s no such thing as perfect sobriety.In this episode, Matt and Steve explore why learning from mistakes is part of the process — not a failure. They talk about comparison in recovery, changing needs over time, and how wanting things...
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Episode 256
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31:30
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E255: You Don’t Have to Hit Bottom to Quit — Here’s What That Really Means
What does “rock bottom” actually look like — and do you really have to hit it before you get sober? In this episode, Matt and Steve break down the biggest myth in recovery: that you need a dramatic collapse, a lost job, a destroyed marriage, or...
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Episode 255
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30:18
E254: Secrets, Shame, and Sobriety: Emily Redondo’s Story in Wife Mother Drunk
What happens when the picture-perfect life hides a private hell? In this episode of the Sober Friends Podcast, Matt J sits down with Emily Redondo, author of Wife Mother Drunk: An Intergenerational Memoir of...
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Episode 254
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52:48
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E253: Acceptance Is Not Giving Up
What do you do when your body forces you to slow down — and your mind wants to fight it? In this week’s episode, Matt and Steve dive into the real-life struggle of acceptance after Matt was sidelined by Lyme disease. No gym, no long walks, bare...
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Episode 253
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28:38
E252: The Milestones That Matter Most Aren’t on a Chip
Turning 50 has Matt thinking about milestones — in life, in recovery, and in all the small moments that really shape who we become. In this episode, the guys dig into what “milestones” truly mean once you’ve been around a while. Sure, the chips...
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Episode 252
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29:06
E251: The Gift of Gratitude (Even When Life Sucks)
It’s Gratitude Month — but what if you don’t feel grateful? Matt and Steve talk about the kind of week that tests your patience, your sobriety, and your sanity. From corporate layoffs and sleepless nights to plumbing issues and family stress, i...
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Episode 251
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32:57
E250: The Straw Man Chapter of the Big Book
In this episode, Matt and Steve take a hard look at We Agnostics, one of the most debated chapters in the AA Big Book. Matt admits he’s developing a resentment toward Bill W.’s logic — from comparing God to electricity to invoking Colu...
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Episode 250
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34:08
E249 Looks Fine on the Outside, Falling Apart on the Inside
ver tell yourself, “I can’t be an alcoholic — I still have a job, a house, and a family”?This week, Matt and Steve dive into the myth of the high-functioning drinker — the person who looks like they have it all together, but is ...
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30:12
E248: What to Say When Someone Asks Why You Don’t Drink
It’s one of the most awkward moments in sobriety when someone offers you a drink and you are not sure what to say. Do you tell the truth, make an excuse, or try to explain yourself? Matt and Steve talk about those everyday situations where bein...
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Episode 248
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34:41
E247: Loving Your Enemies (Even When You Don’t Want To)
Sometimes forgiveness feels impossible, especially when you’re sure the other person doesn’t deserve it. In this episode, Matt and Steve dive into the messy, uncomfortable work of letting go of resentment and learning to “love on” the people wh...
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Episode 247
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38:32
E246: Grateful, Not Special: Rebecca’s Recovery Story
Rebecca calls herself a “textbook alcoholic,” but her recovery journey is anything but ordinary. In this episode, she opens up about chasing the next big thing, hitting bottom, and finding freedom in sobriety. From navigating early recovery wit...
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Episode 246
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40:48
E245: What Sloppy Drunks Taught Me About Sobriety
At the Big E, one of the biggest fairs in the country, I couldn’t help but notice how quickly things turned sloppy once the drinks started flowing. Being surrounded by that chaos didn’t just make me uncomf...
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Episode 245
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26:46
E244: Finding Peace When the World Feels Unsafe
Some weeks, the world feels like too much. Shocking news, painful anniversaries, and even everyday moments can stir up old fears and anxieties. For those of us in recovery, those feelings used to send us straight to a drink or a destructive beh...
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Episode 244
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37:05
E243: Faith-Based Sobriety vs. The Scientific Method
What really keeps people sober: faith, science, or a mix of both?In this episode of the Sober Friends Podcast, Matt and Steve dive into the tension—and surprising overlap—between faith-based recovery in AA and evidence-based app...
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Episode 243
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38:33